


Autumn Song

by wildflower927



Series: A Love Song [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Hate Sex, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:42:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildflower927/pseuds/wildflower927
Summary: Jaehyun helps Taeyong drown his sorrows of being in love with his best friend, Johnny. It doesn't stop however in the night they ditched Johnny's and Ten's wedding.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Series: A Love Song [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044132
Comments: 24
Kudos: 195





	Autumn Song

**Author's Note:**

> Along with the 'hate sex' tag, there's also slight dom/sub nuances only for the first part  
> Not really a plot to it but there's something  
> This work is fictional so please treat it accordingly  
> And if you liked the story, by the end of it, please consider leaving a kudo

What is the worst feeling someone can feel? He’s always wondered but never really thought he’d ever been on the exerting side of it. He is however experiencing it now as he sits at a table, dressed impeccably for what it is called to be one of the most beautiful moments in life; witnessing the union of two people who love each other. Why is that associated with the worst feeling? Simply because he’s witnessing the love of his life exchanging vows with someone else.

It’s not like he hasn’t felt miserable the entire day, since he woke up and put the attire on. Since he got at the venue and made his way down the improvised aisle not as the groom, but as the best friend he is. Stepping on his heart with every step he took. Smiling but biting his cheeks inside of his mouth hoping to get them to bleed as much as his heart does. 

“Taeyong, you’re glaring.” He might’ve gotten to miserably glare at the pair subconsciously. Maybe if Johnny would’ve looked at him, he could muster between all this heartbreak to crack a smile. But Johnny is busy looking at Ten like he’s the only one in the room, the only one in the world, and the only one in the entire universe. Because Ten is that for Johnny. Just like Johnny is like that for Taeyong, the only difference is that Taeyong and Johnny are never going to be anything more than friends and Taeyong is doomed to love his best friend until the day he completely closes his eyes.

At the same table as Taeyong, wearing an equally nice attire paired with an equally fake smile sits Jaehyun. Jaehyun, who caught on because Taeyong was obvious enough for half of their friend group to realize he’s in love with his best friend, but not obvious enough for Johnny. Never obvious enough for Johnny. And this is how Taeyong ends up being the most pitied person at this wedding because, while the grooms were given blessings and being congratulated there was Taeyong, receiving pity looks, pity hand squeezes, and pity encouragements.

What is the worst feeling someone can feel? The answer is simple: indefinite heartbreak paired with the shame of being exposed to everyone and sprinkled with their pity. Although he’s promised himself not to get defeated on this day, he promised himself not to cry in front of everyone, there’s a limit to the human that he is. Taeyong endures it the best way he can, like all the nights in which he rehearsed and replayed these scenes over and over again before letting himself cry to sleep.

Then comes the dance. That dance when the grooms show the entire crowd how much love they have for each other in the most pristine way. That dance which has everyone coo because _‘oh God, just look how they look at each other’_ and that dance which also has them _‘groom’s got some moves’_ which is obviously Ten since Johnny has two left feet−Taeyong knows because he rehearsed this dance trying to get him to learn the steps. Things that ironically Taeyong hoped to hear on his big day with Johnny; things that now, make his chest squeeze in pain. It’s torturous how slow time passes, how that stupid song doesn’t seem to end, how the fog and the lights emphasize the scenery as other pairs join them on the dance floor. Love is such a wonderful feeling if it wouldn’t make Taeyong bleed.

“Get me out of here.” He grips hard at Jaehyun’s thigh, hard enough to leave a bruise, just like he’s sure his jaw will bruise for how much he’s clenched it throughout the ceremony. It’s torturous but maybe Taeyong is not that masochistic to sit and watch, and Jaehyun doesn’t really look as if he wants to be a witness any longer either.

They both leave their envelopes for the newlyweds at the reception without saying goodbye. His goodbye might not be needed, not when Johnny has Ten for the rest of his life. Taeyong is not petty, regardless of how jealous he is of Ten, he doesn’t hate him, doesn’t wish him bad. On the other hand, Taeyong loves Johnny so much that he does want him to be happy with the one he loves even if that someone is not Taeyong. Johnny deserves to be the happiest tonight and Taeyong doesn’t have enough strength in him to be at his side for the entire night. He doesn’t have enough strength to sit there, smile, and send Johnny to Ten at the end of the night while he’s doomed to return to his cold bed with no one to hold him together through the cruelest night of them all.

Either way, for Taeyong, is going to be the cruelest night regardless of how early he slipped away, but it doesn’t have to be like that entirely. He wants to do something with the steaming anger that seethes inside of him. He wants to be trashed on the outside to match with the inside. He wants to be pushed, he wants to be bruised. He wants to be used in the utmost low way. This is how he drags Jaehyun in the motel across the venue, and this is why they’re currently pushing against a door as Taeyong pathetically begs.

“Make it hurt. I want to hurt all over.” There’re tears in his eyes already when he kneels in front of Jaehyun mouthing at his clothed cock, ruining the expensive trousers with his spit as he coaxes the precum to drip off the receiver and soak his underwear.

Taeyong unbuckles the belt, kneading at the hardened member before hooking a finger under the layer of clothing and pulling it down to Jaehyun’s mid-thighs. He knows he’s staring and Jaehyun growls a bit impatient. It’s not like he’s seen Jaehyun naked before or that he’s ever imagined what he’d see inside his pants. Taeyong’s no size queen, he’s fucked enough people to know the length doesn’t always matter if the owner knows how to move. But there it lies pink and glimmering, slender and mushroom-headed poking from a healthy bush that somehow turns him on inexplicably. Licking Jaehyun from the base up as soon as the length is freed and growing, playing a bit with his balls. Enclosing his lips around he sinks forward until his nose is well nestled in the hair at the base, testing it on the back of his throat, clenching around him while his tongue rests flat against a prominent vein on the underside of it. Jaehyun moans resting his head on the door while Taeyong tries to choke himself on the cock futilely because he has no gag reflex.

He searches for Jaehyun’s hands not stopping his frantic bobbing, he’s sure he looks desperate but he doesn’t care. He is desperate and it happens that Jaehyun is the one to be here with him. He guides Jaehyun’s hands into his hair while with his own he grips at his hips to push him in. It leaves no room for misinterpretation and when Jaehyun experimentally snaps his hips forward forcing his cock deep down Taeyong’s throat making the kneeled man moan in agreement.

“Fuck Taeyong, are you sure?” Jaehyun stops and pulls out of Taeyong’s mouth, extending a hand to remove some spit excess that trails from the corner of his mouth down his chin and Jaehyun’s balls. He doesn’t hold that merciful gaze though it’s clear how turned on he is and willing to fuck Taeyong’s mouth the way Taeyong wants it.

“Be rough and don’t stop if I don’t pass out.” He’s never really passed out and it won’t start now. He needs his throat to ache so much that it will make him silent for days. They’re here, Taeyong knows what he wants, it’s all on Jaehyun to take or leave.

Jaehyun’s choice is to indulge Taeyong, to force his cock past his parted lips, glide it all the way to the back of Taeyong’s throat and choke the moans out of him along with the spilling tears from his eyes. It stings, it makes his jaw ache and it’s rough at the back of his throat. It hits with the point of the tip into the membrane wall, mixing the precum with his spit as it cascades off through the corners of his mouth. It’s moist enough to adhere nicely and make it pleasurable for both of them. Painful only for Taeyong as Jaehyun thrusts and thrusts for a gag that never comes.

But Jaehyun stops, pulls out again of his mouth, lifts Taeyong, and pushes him to the bed. Hovering over him fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, unzipping the trousers that are not hooked on a belt. Ruining expensive clothing must be the second motive of the night because Jaehyun rips a couple of buttons and cracks the fly of his trousers with the force he’s using. He’s got Taeyong naked fast while nibbling and sucking harshly marks on his neck and chest. A surprised gasp leaves Jaehyun’s lips at the sight of his nakedness. Taeyong knows exactly what surprises him. If for him seeing an untrimmed Jaehyun was pleasant, then the lack of any kind of hair on Taeyong’s body does it for Jaehyun as his reddened cock twitches between his legs. Exploring the smoothness of his body under his palms while tormenting his sensitive nipples with his teeth. 

There’s no lube no lotion and Jaehyun almost backs away from fucking Taeyong. The latter doesn’t care how much it’ll hurt; he pushes two of his fingers inside himself as if to prove something. It stings but the stretch works as he tries to fuck himself on his fingers, begging to be wrecked. Jaehyun watches him for a while, insecurity clear on his face but under deep dark eyes, he hungrily debates before making his move.

“You wanna hurt, huh? Then I’ll make you hurt like a real bitch.” Jaehyun hardens his grip on Taeyong’s thighs forcing them apart and up towards his chest. He pushes a finger past Taeyong’s and works to loosen the muscle, spitting over their fingers despite both of them knowing it’s completely useless. Taeyong moans low in his throat because is hot, he even sucks at his fingers before taking them back to loosen himself. They move like that for a while, Taeyong’s fingers hurt a bit from where they meet Jaehyun’s bony ones but it’s a sign it will happen. Taeyong’s masochistic wish is to be fulfilled.

Leaning his weight on Taeyong and aligning his cock with Taeyong’s hole, Jaehyun starts pushing in, and just as expected it hurts. It burns and they grunt, Jaehyun because the entrance is too tight and it must be just as unpleasant for his dick, and Taeyong because he needs to breathe if he doesn’t want to pass out. It takes a while for Jaehyun to get balls deep inside of him, his channel squeezing in protest at the intrusion. He even gives Taeyong a while to get used to before starting to move and drag a bit too dry against his walls. Jaehyun sets a pace as the muscles start to give way, enough for Taeyong to start feeling some pleasure as it goes. He even rustles around until he’s found the perfect angle and looking straight into Taeyong’s eyes with mirth he confirms for himself he’s found Taeyong’s sweet spot. From there on, Taeyong grips at his shoulders and lets himself be fucked raw and rough with no restrain of the sounds that escape his mouth as he quivers under Jaehyun, pleasure building deep into his pelvis.

“You like that cock cuz it’s bigger? Like it when he fucks you deep, but can he fuck you like this?” Jaehyun mumbles as he thrusts at a merciless pace at the right angle and Taeyong’s writhing as the muscles in his body tense and his thighs start to tremble until he spills between their bodies with a scream. He never got to touch his cock; neither did Jaehyun but it spills so much as if it was pumped over and over. But it doesn’t have Jaehyun stop, he continues to fuck into Taeyong, avoiding over-stimulating his prostate. It feels good, the burn at his rim as Jaehyun chases his own release, shooting the spunk inside Taeyong and keeping them locked together all throughout it. It makes his body vibrate, Jaehyun makes him ache just the way he wanted and not only because Taeyong begged to be wrecked, but because he too wanted to wreck someone. Taeyong’s not the only one in this boat and he should’ve known the moment Jaehyun mumbled about dick sizes because while Taeyong never fucked Johnny, Ten fucked both Johnny and Jaehyun.

Jaehyun pulls out to kneel at the leg of the bed, leaving Taeyong gaping and clenching around nothing. Pulling Taeyong by his hips closer to the edge of the mattress he dives his mouth in and lapping his tongue straight into the gaping and leaking hole. It’s too much but he wants it all. It hurts but in an insanely pleasurable way; everything he’s wished for tonight Jaehyun’s giving him. He thrusts his tongue in and out causing the room to fill with squelching and slurping sounds. Jaehyun that’s got a sinfully long tongue that reaches just right at his p-spot and jostling against it as Taeyong writhes and wails under his mouth until his dick spurts clear liquid and he can’t control the way his eyes roll at the back of his head as his body is quaking in the utmost pleasure.

They lay motionless on the bed. Taeyong’s tried for the most part to regain the color in his vision and to regulate his breath. He feels dirty and used but sated. Jaehyun delivered to his cravings just as he wanted. He’s sore, aching, and swollen, his hole is still twitching and burning, and his lower back stabs him like a hell. He’s as wrecked on the outside as he is on the inside, but there’s not at least one ounce of power to feel shame about it, about everything that went in this room.

He passes out on the cab as soon as Jaehyun helps him in and judging by the lack of the latter’s presence when he wakes up, Jaehyun only helped him get back into the clean sheets of his bed. And maybe, just maybe he also cooked, bought him pills and ointment, and placed enough water by his bedside.  
  
  
  
  
  
They don’t contact each other after it. In fact, the next time Taeyong sees Jaehyun is when they gather as a friend group not long after the wedding, in the new house the newlyweds just moved. Everyone sits around and listens to the endless talk about the wedding. About the parts that he missed but Taeyong doesn’t regret a thing. He could have stayed at the wedding and have his heart bleed over the pastel tablecloths or he could hurt and cum under Jaehyun’s cock and mouth. No need to mention which one he chose as he catches a glimpse of his best friend’s drunken love smile. If he thinks about it, it’s a smile he never liked on Johnny, it always made him look just a bit stupid. Or maybe the liquor starts to get him because as stupid as he looks he’s still the most handsome man in the room. And he and that stupid grin seem to dangerously approach Taeyong.

“Seriously, you left the wedding to get boned?” Johnny flicks at the fading marks Jaehyun sucked into his skin. Taeyong isn’t particularly fond of being marked like this, but now, in this scenario, it gives him a reason to feel braced. “Was he that hot that you couldn’t wait until the cake at least?” There’s nothing accusatory about it. It sounds like he’s happy for Taeyong as if Taeyong found the one right there at Johnny’s and Ten’s wedding and he’ll get his happily ever after. But what can Taeyong says because _‘I had to get my brains painfully fucked to forget about you’_ is not a viable option.

“Maybe, I was a bit drunk, I can’t remember much.” No one knows it was them, despite vanishing together while everyone else was dancing or who knows what else people do at gay weddings. On the other side of the room, he spots Jaehyun casually talking with Ten and Taeil and wonders if Johnny feels any particular way about them; if he even knows that Jaehyun still has feelings for his husband.

It doesn’t bear a surprise that when Johnny steals Ten away from the interlocutors they find each a new chatting partner. And if Taeil makes himself comfortable on the couch between Kun and Sicheng, Jaehyun finds Taeyong with a drink in hand.

“You could’ve told me at least.” Taeyong breaks the silence to point at him. They haven’t gotten the chance to talk but it was obvious by the times their eyes locked for the night that Jaehyun knows exactly what Taeyong means. He doesn’t accuse Jaehyun, he didn’t voice his sorrows either. It's just that as someone in that particular position, witnessing someone you love getting married to someone else, Taeyong is sympathetic.

“What’s the use of it? They’re married, happily married. Our only duty is to let them go.” Sure, easier said than done. Not like Taeyong’s ever manifested openly his feelings for Johnny, or maybe it was simply easy to do so from the posture of the best friend. It was easy to pass ardent feelings for platonic ones and that is what Taeyong is guilty of. If he’s had the balls to confess to Johnny, get rejected at the right time he wouldn’t be in this situation now.

“Don’t get attached.” As much as he could offer his shoulder to cry, he doesn’t want Jaehyun to get attached on their night, or think it could repeat.

“To you? Never. You’re too much to handle, we’re not compatible in the least. No matter how you look at it we’re the worst pair that could ever happen and no one wants to witness such a disaster.”

“What do you mean I’m too much to handle, Jung? I knew I should’ve gotten Yuta to do it.” There’s a pause, Jaehyun wets his lips as if looking for the right words. The right words that would not end up with them at each other’s throats, as per usual.

“I can’t do that Lee, the sadistic stuff, I’m not really cut for hardcore no matter how I look at it. I don’t like hurting people. And no he wouldn’t have done it. No offense but Yuta’s happily boning Doyoung.” He should’ve known that they weren’t the only ones who left the wedding to fuck. Taeyong wanted initially to look for Yuta but he wasn’t at the table. Doyoung wasn’t either and if he squints even more into his memory, they kind of skirted around each other for the entire day and disappeared somewhere during the event.

“I’m not masochistic mind you, it just felt like the right thing but the aftermath makes it not worth it.” He wanted to hurt and he hurt for days. But compromising the only part of his body that brings him comfort and consolation is not a good idea.

“What now, Lee can do vanilla?”

“The question is can Jung, though?” And the fucker just smirks and looks away from Taeyong. As if Taeyong would have at least a flying fuck to give about Jaehyun’s preferences in bed. Or as if he wanted Jaehyun to prove him something.

He and Jaehyun have always been the two people no one wanted in the same place at the same time. Always finding a subject to contradict on, always finding words to mock or offend each other without being particularly rude, direct, or necessarily explicit. They’ve never really liked each other too much yet, paradoxically enough it is Jaehyun’s cum Taeyong has to clean up from his ass that same night, and no, he still doesn’t regret a thing when his hand works the oversensitive area at the thought of it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Taeyong doesn’t count the occasions he meets Jaehyun through their friend's circle anymore. There was a time he was spotting him from afar, rolling his eyes to himself, then pretending he’s fine with his presence and tried to be civil. He can’t point out when it stopped being overly annoying to see him but now due to the recent events, Jaehyun is more like a constant. So after Taeil finishes his gig it feels natural to let himself guided out by Jaehyun. At the reception of the place, however, he remembers a couple of hints Doyoung gave him for Mark’s birthday and he stops for a while to note them down. 

“It literally seems like you’re planning his wedding. It’s just a birthday party.”

“Organizing one wedding was enough for me.” It slips past his lips too easily and not many of them actually know to which extent Taeyong got involved in planning the whole thing. He’s the best friend at the end of it. He feels Jaehyun’s eyes on him as he scribbles down on the small notebook he wears in his bag when the too-familiar figure makes an appearance in the lobby, alone. If Jaehyun had something to say back at Taeyong, he doesn’t. He takes a step back from Taeyong.

Johnny walks towards them with firm steps. They hadn’t spoken much since the gathering after the wedding. Taeyong hates the constant reminder that gleams on Johnny’s ring finger screaming that he’s taken, that he’ll never be Taeyong’s. A constant reminder that Johnny falls asleep in Ten’s arms, that they probably make love to each other every time before they go to sleep and first thing in the morning.

He tries his best to control his feelings. He misses Johnny. They haven’t spent time as best friends in a while because Taeyong is constantly avoiding him. It’s clear that Johnny is here to sort the issue of their time apart.

“Hey, you really vanish a lot lately. I wanted to talk to you.” He only speaks to Taeyong, he hasn’t even acknowledged Jaehyun. Taeyong dreads to hear the rest but he bears with it while Jaehyun pretends to study the walls. “So, I was thinking we could meet this Sat. Eat and drink something. Maybe you can accompany me to get Tennie a present afterward.” Accompany Johnny to buy his husband a present would not be a first because as hurtful as it is Taeyong is Johnny’s best friend and he’s been at the latter’s disposal all the time. Listening to the endless ramble over how perfect Ten is and how unlike no other in the entire world. Under the best friend's duty and not only, Taeyong would also do it over and over again regardless of how torturous is. Maybe he is a bit masochistic at the end.

He doesn’t look at Johnny yet, still looking for an answer inside his mind at the sudden request. He doesn’t see Johnny’s face, he sees, however, Jaehyun’s fist balling until his knuckles turn white and he wonders if the man is clenching his jaw when words spill past unnecessary gritted teeth.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. Better if you take someone else this time, Johnny.” 

“Why not?” Johnny’s shocked expression makes his heart twist. He looks up between Jaehyun and Taeyong as if the cogs in his brain have a hard time moving as if it’s too hard to understand why Taeyong would prioritize Jaehyun over him.

“Because he has plans with me.” Jaehyun goes on a bit harsher. Whatever impulse made him respond to Johnny and go all possessive over Taeyong has the taller man a bit irritated and he’d lie to say it doesn’t satisfy a wicked side of his brain. It dissolves too fast off Johnny’s face as if a cell in his brain clicked and Taeyong’s weary about it.

“Fine, I’ll take Doyoung!” Taeyong’s surprised over how easily Johnny gave up on it, part of him feels let down. If it was Ten he’d have to fight about would have Johnny given up so quickly? Johnny rubs his shoulder out of comfort and his skin catches fire under Johnny’s hand. He bends down to whisper inside Taeyong’s ear “Really, you and Jaehyun? Is it since the wedding?” And then Johnny giggles, he fucking giggles as if Taeyong fell in love with Jaehyun at his wedding or something. It makes his stomach churn uncomfortably. The stupor on his features is all read wrong by Johnny who gives him that knowing look. “It is! I’m out, have a good time being busy and all that.” Then he throws his thumbs up at Taeyong. The double thumbs-up means Johnny is happy for him and that he acknowledges and it’s fine with Taeyong going out with Jaehyun. He’s got it all wrong.

As soon as he’s gone Jaehyun leans in a bit and Taeyong is irritated at him and wants to smack the back of his head really, really badly. But he can’t because Jaehyun is his anchor lately and if he loses it, it means going back to Johnny and that is not an option at all.

“Why’d you do that, Jaehyun?” He tries to collect himself. In a way, Jaehyun saved him from a lot of pain going shopping for Ten. It’s past his birthday and even past their wedding, he doesn’t even know what’s the present even needed for. Unless Johnny just wanted to spend time with Taeyong as the best friends they are supposed to be.

“Because you would’ve gone even if it hurts you, and you need to let him go,” Jaehyun states the obvious, but Taeyong has something to add about it.

“But that shouldn’t imply losing my best friend.” And with that, he stares into Jaehyun’s eyes and at that unreadable expression of his. Taeyong wonders if he looks like this sometimes as well, like nothing can hurt him.

“And is he just a best friend?” That’s also right, he is Johnny’s best friend but to him, Johnny is a bit more than that. Jaehyun pulls him quickly out of his thoughts with his hand resting on Taeyong’s small back as he checks his wristwatch. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

He takes Jaehyun’s hand as he guides him towards the cab. They stumble into his apartment where Jaehyun orders them something to eat. Taeyong’s not very hungry but waits patiently for Jaehyun to finish his food. They eat, they get a glass of wine, and are fast to get in the mood. Taeyong finds out he likes how Jaehyun feels on his tongue before he explodes, he also finds out Jaehyun gives head just the way he likes it.

“Can I try something?” Jaehyun says in an uncharacteristically wavering voice. Taeyong shrugs because honestly, may the dicking go wherever it’s meant to be as long as it puts him in a bubble away from his problems.

He lets himself manhandled by Jaehyun, laid on his tummy on the mattress, letting his skin jump with every press of Jaehyun’s touch. Lets himself be set alight with every brush of hands or lips over erogenous zones Jaehyun has learned a bit too quickly for his own good.

“Fuck, I really like how you’re so smooth all over.”

“I also like how your bush is soft against my ass cheeks.” It’s not something he does often. Jaehyun is very vocal with compliments. If it’s a habit or not, Taeyong doesn’t know but it does make him feel like he’s not participating in it every time he remains silent under Jaehyun’s compliments.

“Bush?” Now he’s surprised but Taeyong didn’t mean it that way, he just chose poor wording. “Should I trim it?”

“No! I mean, it feels good for me. I- you don’t have to do anything for me, just what makes you comfortable.” Taeyong too has things he likes about Jaehyun; he also has things to say about what Jaehyun does to him, but he’s also hopelessly bad with words since he’s never engaged more than once with someone and thoughts about Johnny have always had to be suppressed. He shuts up because he has a feeling this is not going the right way and doesn’t want to be a turnoff.

The conversation doesn’t drag, seemingly because Jaehyun catches on to the mood change and chooses to resume the things they know better to do to each other. His legs are pushed apart while he hugs Jaehyun’s pillow at his chest. It smells like him, a nuance Taeyong doesn’t need to pick up on, but he does because it’s a scent that weirdly enough brings him comfort. Lube is squirted directly on his hole and he hisses from the coldness. Sounds of more lube being squirted from the bottle are heard before Jaehyun’s hand is on him the right way.

Apart from the first experience, Jaehyun has been gentle, patient, and persuading in bed and continues to be. There’s always enough lube at hand and a slow drag of fingers. He fucks Taeyong with two fingers and plays with the nerve ends at his rim so deliciously that Taeyong can’t stop mewling. Usually whoever ends up in bed with him rushes to stretch him enough until the cock would fit; they never take their time to rim him until he cries, as Jaehyun does now. It crossed his mind before, that Jaehyun is really a catch in bed, being so attentive and determined to give pleasure that it would be impossible for him not to find someone to get attached to. Then, Taeyong remembers that he’s also pretty much hang up on Ten. Just like Taeyong is good in bed but his heart is not available.

Fingers are soon removed before Taeyong gets to cum and Jaehyun’s levels with him. He doesn’t speak, just kisses Taeyong on the mouth. He kisses Taeyong on the jaw, nibbles with his tongue at his earlobe making the skin on his whole body burst into bumps. He moves lower on his neck, his nape, along the knobs of his spine down towards his lower back. He rubs his nose in Taeyong’s lower back dimples before ultimately pressing his lips on each butt cheek and finally kneeling between Taeyong’s legs. Brushing in between his buttocks with his hardened member, giving Taeyong the satisfaction of feeling the soft pubes on his skin while the cock rubs against his entrance and down his perineum to his balls. The penis catches in his rim and breaches past the bundle of muscles and Taeyong finally starts to feel the real stretch.

They can’t see each other’s faces in this position but it feels much like they’re making love, rather than have sex. He remembers the discussion they had about vanilla and it’s not that he likes vanilla necessarily, he just wants to know what it feels like to be loved. To make love to someone you love and they love you back. And if this wouldn’t be Jaehyun and if they wouldn’t have happened the way they did, Taeyong would say this is it. This is how it feels when someone makes love to him, chest pressed on his back, hands framing his body. It’s like he’s in an embrace, like being fucked with emotions despite not seeing the other’s face. He’d lie to say it doesn’t melt his heart a bit.

Jaehyun pushes in and out of him, repetitively, not too slow but not ruthless either. It squelches from all the lube he poured up Taeyong’s ass but it’s gliding so nice and well. He can’t remember if he’s ever done it so slippery but it definitely adds to the pleasure. He grips at the sheets as he lifts his face up from the pillow so his moans are heard, Jaehyun’s weight on top of him feeling heavier as the rolls of his hips drag pointedly inside of him, it’s maddening. And his cock rustles between himself and the soft sheets, rubbing harder with each press of Jaehyun’s thrusts. Taeyong can’t hold it “Th-ahhh came, I came, fuck!”

And fuck indeed because Jaehyun stops without pulling out of him, drops on top of him careful not to drop all his weight and squash him. Taeyong trembles and squeezes his ass as his hole clenches around the fullness that’s still intruding his insides.

“You okay?” He brushes the hair away from Taeyong’s face and brushes his lips over his temple “Do you want me to pull out, do you want me to keep going?”

Taeyong stays silent for a while; he catches his breath and focuses on coming down from his high because that was a hell of an orgasm considering how slow they went. He’s a bit torn between feeling embarrassed that he came so fast or if to think it was normal. But all in all, he knows a thing, he wants this again and wants it now.

“Go on. I mean keep fucking. Me.” Jaehyun cups his chin this time, makes him turn his head and look him straight in the eyes as if searching for something there. He leans in and kisses him full on the lips. It’s hard to concentrate and give him a wonderful kiss back, they just lap their tongues together ignoring the saliva that pools messily out of their mouths wetting the bedding. Before Jaehyun removes his lips from Taeyong’s, he starts rolling his hips, pubes now wet brushing against the skin of his ass causing shivers with every blow of air that gushes in between the thrusts.

It rubs him nicely despite Jaehyun chasing his release by avoiding poking into his sweet spot. Not needing much longer Jaehyun curses out before his dick turns impossibly stiff and hot before shooting his load. Unable to coordinate the aim with his stuttering hips he goes back hitting Taeyong’s prostate even as his cock starts to deflate inside of him. And then, there’s Taeyong pathetically whimpers and spasms because there’s that feeling again of being too much and too overwhelming but if he lets go it’s absolutely blissful.

“Arghh!” He shudders from all the joints as the wetness gets messier under himself. He cries his moans out because his hole is still filled to the brim and his cock is oversensitive from all the friction while the orgasm is blowing his brains out.

“Oh fuck, did you squirt again? You’re really hot, you know?”

“Shut up it feels like I’m peeing myself.” And most importantly it only ever happened with Jaehyun but he doesn’t give him that information.

Jaehyun chuckles against his shoulder as he presses his lips there, on the slippery sweaty skin. Like this, Taeyong feels a little better in their bubble, maybe it’s not bad he chose to leave with Jaehyun that night. Jaehyun is gentle and makes vanilla orgasms spark like fireworks. If they could only let go completely of the people that occupy their hearts.  
  
  
  
  
  
Regardless of how good sex with Jaehyun is, they don’t have any kind of agreement. After Mark’s birthday Jaehyun hooks up with the birthday boy and Taeyong leaves home with Xuxi for experimental sex. Experimental sex that didn’t quite leave him sated. He doesn’t mention that to Jaehyun. It’s also an assurance that Jaehyun didn’t get attached, that he’s still a safe option for Taeyong, and that Taeyong won’t have to burden himself he’s breaking Jaehyun’s heart.

When he calls him it’s purely because he doesn’t have anyone else in mind to call and getting lonely was never appealing to Taeyong. That adds to the fact that ever since Jaehyun’s around, Taeyong feels less and less capable to hold on to the ache after Johnny whenever he’s around his best friend. He’s overwhelmed with warm feelings, with love. An impossible and one-sided love.

Jaehyun prepares them hot chocolate and engages Taeyong in some kind of online pool or whatever because he’s a dickhead and enjoys how easily frustrated Taeyong gets. But it’s not only one pool it’s several of them, all about dicks and sex, and mind-blowing orgasms. It’s interesting in a way but doesn’t serve for his poor state.

“Oh, this one’s interesting; it says that depending on the dick shape there are certain positions who work better.” Taeyong wonders if he’s good at dicking down people because he researches all these things online. He never does his research, aside from getting periodically tested and hitting google when he needs to know something, everything else was learned through experimenting.

“That’s kind of common sense that if you have a curved down dick you…wait, what position is it good for curved down penises?” But Jaehyun refuses to show him the article or give him the answer, he just laughs at Taeyong. He wholeheartedly laughs at Taeyong with dimples cutting across his cheeks in such a charming manner that he’s lost for a moment because damn, Jaehyun is so fucking handsome.

“Whaaa you’re pouting for real!” Jaehyun teases him before planting a chaste kiss on his lips. Lips that Taeyong chases after only to get even more teased. It’s even more frustrating that Taeyong is low key horny and Jaehyun looks nowhere near bothered. Maybe his hookups with Mark keep him sated and he doesn’t want to indulge Taeyong anymore.

“For fuck’s sake, stop teasing me if you don’t want anything.”

“Who said I don’t? I’m always down if you are, Taeyong.” The only problem is Taeyong can’t take dick because he thought he was ready and had definitely underestimated Xuxi’s girth and now it might oblige him not to insert thick objects in there for a while. It’s so humiliating telling Jaehyun this, yet, surprisingly Jaehyun doesn’t make any kind of mean remark nor does he tease Taeyong for the rookie mistake.

“Let me see it first.” And that’s embarrassing too, to bear his hole for Jaehyun’s eyes. It makes him feel shy and he’s never been shy while they fucked. Never shy to do this for all those doctors that examined him. He’s shy now as Jaehyun brushes gentle finger pads over his torn entrance. He’s hard and leaking but very much sure he’ll go flaccid as soon as Jaehyun will insert a finger and it will sting like a bitch.

He pours lube, lets it soak the skin while brushing over the rim in circles. He tests the endurance with the pad of his finger and slowly pushes to the first knuckle. He fiddles with it until Taeyong’s face relaxes in what can be read as pleasure, so Jaehyun pushes the digit further and adds more lube. To his surprise his cock doesn’t go flaccid, it stays interesting, up, and proud.

“I think you can push another.”

“There’s no blood but I don’t wanna risk. I’ll go like this.” Jaehyun crooks his finger to find what they both want and works only the part of the finger that’s buried inside Taeyong, without pushing in and out of him. With his thumb he rubs and presses at his perineum, the other hand splashes lube to have Taeyong’s cock moist and slippery but working him to mush only with the hand at his rear.

“Feels good.” Taeyong caresses Jaehyun’s arm, sucking sensually at his bottom lip. He’s sure he looks fucked up even like this, against Jaehyun’s pillows with his hand buried inside of him waiting to get him off deliciously slow.

“Like it baby?” Jaehyun grunts. Damned be pet names because his cock twitches so hard that he almost cums. It makes Jaehyun catch on quickly as he works his fingers to press throttle his prostate and grab with the free one at the twitching cock, giving it a couple of strokes and leaving it as soon as Taeyong’s moans increase in intensity. He plays with him like this for a while, using the strokes on his cock to edge him then let him quiver and cry in protest because the single finger in his hole can’t get him off.

“Please Jaehyun, I need to cum, let me cum.”

“Wanna cum baby?” Cock painfully twitches again in Jaehyun’s loose grip before he squeezes it in his fist and works that spot under the head in a tight circle that Taeyong’s close to seeing start “Spill that on my tongue baby, cum for me.” Jaehyun still works the tight ring while his fingers poke at his prostate and his tongue is spread off past his lips so inviting that Taeyong can’t hold it anymore and gives his spunk straight on that tongue before pushing himself up to kiss him while his dick still spurts everywhere.

He drops to Jaehyun’s lap to be a grateful person and return the favor but Jaehyun’s so stiff and red, and hot that a couple of licks and bobs over the underside of his dick and Taeyong has cum in his hair and eye.  
  
  
  
  
  
They sit on his bed, kind of in what could be called half a cuddle or a half-assed cuddle, playing a movie in the background. Taeyong’s finally sated and all the worries have been pushed out of his brain. If he could allow himself such a thing he could say he’s almost happy, and Jaehyun doesn’t give signs of not liking this. He almost drifts off in Jaehyun’s arms when the growling of his stomach startles him and makes Jaehyun chuckle.

“Common, up, and pretty yourself.” Taeyong looks confused. He sat there nicely in the scent of freshly washed bed sheets and Jaehyun’s smell. So comfortable in that bubble that he’s allowed himself to will away from his ache. “I’m taking you out for dinner.”

Dinner, another part that does not fit in their scenery but for the first time Taeyong chooses not to pick at it. He chooses to let it go, to enjoy his dinner out with a handsome guy that treats him nicely, and who deserves in return to feel good and not witness Taeyong’s half-assed mood.

The place Jaehyun chooses exceeds another part of Taeyong’s expectations. He thought they’d stop at the first presentable place in the area. Jaehyun takes him to a sushi house whose clientele is definitely above their social class but Taeyong doesn’t overthink it. It’s all cooked in front of them while Jaehyun entertains the mood. They laugh together so much, like never before. It feels somehow strange at some point like he can’t even remember those days where they could never agree on something, those days when someone had to interfere between them to stop them from clawing each other’s eyes. Now, a distant memory from this moment that feels almost too perfect to be true. But maybe deep down somewhere Taeyong too knows he deserves to be happy, to make someone happy as well.

Jaehyun pays for the dinner after an almost fight in which he pleads Taeyong not to ruin their night and let him pay, implying there’re plenty of times for him to repay. It makes him giddy somewhere deep down, and hopeful. He really wants to look forward to times like this with Jaehyun.

They don’t hold hands as they walk down the boulevard despite him really wanting to. He doesn’t want to push too much, at the end of it, each one of them is still in love with someone else. Then Jaehyun looks at him and there’s a slight disappointment on his face as if he can read Taeyong’s mind.

“Is it really that hard to push him out of your mind?” It comes weird, self mockingly because he did try. He made Taeyong laugh all evening. He coaxed Taeyong to join him on jokes. They shared stories from college days, from times before they met. 

“Wow Jaehyun, I’m sorry my feelings for my best friend overwhelm you.” He’s snappy again but not because of Jaehyun, he’s disappointed in himself.

“Don’t get all defensive on me, okay? I didn’t mean it like that.” He catches Taeyong’s wrist, pulling him closer. There’s no harshness to his movements, no anger at Taeyong, “I’ll let you take it all out of your chest then promise me this is where you let go. Breath in, gather your thought, here behind this line is where you leave all behind. You can pretend I’m Johnny.”

He looks at him, eyes big and probably a bit watery, contemplating over what Jaehyun actually means, and he’s right. Years of the pretending game that ate away his heart, turned him into someone he never wanted to become. His heart is bleeding with too many emotions. He’s too overwhelmed and tired of forcing himself to keep all of this bottled up. It takes too much space in his heart, in his mind and he’s no longer convinced it’s worth it. He’s let it spill as soon as Jaehyun gives him the opening he needs. Taeyong mercilessly pours all of the feelings he’s hold from spilling in the last years while plying the pretty understanding and caring best friend. He cared; of course, he cared for Johnny. He cared too much and he’d loved him with all his heart. Taeyong foolishly let Johnny take the entire place in his heart with no chance ever for anyone else to seep through, and maybe now it’s the time to let go. Now it’s the time to let this new feeling that’s swiping inside his heart catch roots and spread. To give Jaehyun and himself a go.

“I misled you and that makes me unworthy of our friendship. All the times I told you I love you Johnny I never meant it just as a friend. It split my heart open way too many times, made me hollow with an open wound. I hate myself for it and I don’t want to do it anymore, Johnny, I’m letting go.” Jaehyun squeezed his hand throughout it all. Taeyong on the other hand tried to look away from his eyes. Breaking their hearts, what a wicked beginning but somehow he trusts Jaehyun. Blame it on the intimacy that repeated itself or on the new feelings, small but shining there with hope. He watches Jaehyun part his lips for an answer and he’s expectant.

“Mind repeating that again, Taeyong?”

It’s dread that catches all over himself. He’s not sure how he is still able to stand once he locks eyes with the people he least expected to meet, let alone witness his confession. He can’t know for how long they’ve been sitting there but he can take a hard guess by the frozen state in which Ten finds himself, mid-step. Or he can judge by the hard expression on Johnny’s face. There are so many emotions on his face, all of them negative, and Taeyong laughs. A pained, helpless laugh, like the one that’s mocking inside of him, jabbing at his ribs because Taeyong was foolish enough to accept to do this in the openness of the street.

There’s no way for him to settle this, no way for him to keep looking into Johnny’s eyes. What else can he say because denying it, it’s out of the question. He opts for the safest option. He runs.  
  
“Taeyong? Please baby open the door, I swear to God I did not see them. I didn’t know they were coming otherwise I wouldn’t let you do it. It’s my fault, okay, it’s my fault and I’ll fix it.” He collapsed against his door as soon as he reached home and let himself cry. It didn’t last much before Jaehyun’s soft knocks were heard against the door. He’s been talking with Taeyong through the door trying to convince him it’s not the end of the world. Taeyong is convinced otherwise. “We’ll figure this out together, please open the door, I’m scared for you.”

“Go away, please,” Taeyong says between shivers and shudders; his voice sounds so raw it even scares him. His face burns with tears and shame. He never wanted to tell Johnny, he would have taken this to his tomb before letting Johnny know.

“You know I can’t and won’t. Let me in, please.” He imagines Jaehyun sitting there by his door, imagines him getting tired of Taeyong and leaving. He doesn’t leave. He keeps pleading and Taeyong is alone, so alone and scared because he’s really lost everything. He’s lost everything except for Jaehyun.

He lets the door fall open, watches Jaehyun from where he sits kneeling by his door gets up, and lunges towards him. Jaehyun envelopes him between his arms and helps him up on wobbly legs.

“My God, just look how much you shake.”

“It hurts. It hurts so badly.”

“I know baby, I know.” Big palms wipe the tears that streak Taeyong’s cheeks and warm lips land in the corner of his eye “It’s going to be fine, please stop crying.”  
  
  
  
  
  
In a single night, Taeyong has lost a friendship that took years to root. He knows once he turns on his phone it will explode with messages both private and on the group chat. It will cascade all of his dreads, fears, and suppositions. He knows he needs to brace for Doyoung’s wrath, for Johnny’s accusations, for Ten’s blames. In a single night, Taeyong has lost his best friend and probably all of his friends. But when he opens his phone there’s a single message from Johnny and a couple from Ten besides many, many missed calls from the former.

**Jyaniya:**  
_We need to talk_

**Ten Chittaphon**  
_please talk to Johnny, please Taeyong  
i’m don’t resent you, I promise  
actually don’t even mind me but talk to him  
okay?_

He leaves them on read then puts the device off again. He can’t know what went after he rushed home between the rest of the witnesses. He doesn’t know how much Jaehyun stood there with them considering how soon he followed after him. All he knows is that he won’t talk to Johnny. He won’t face Johnny for the rest of his life.

In the small kitchen of his flat, Jaehyun looks tired in front of a pile of chopped veggies while wearing a shirt Taeyong has soaked with his tears. Jaehyun who was forced to wear to work Taeyong’s clothes which are a size smaller than what he needs for an entire week. Week in which Taeyong induced forced leave because he can’t face anyone. Jaehyun who kept Johnny away from his door, Jaehyun who held Taeyong into his arms and cared for him without getting anything in return, is still there.

Jaehyun, whose arms welcome him as soon as Taeyong gets close, whose lips press caringly and gently on his forehead as they rock together in the small space. Taeyong buries his nose into the crook of his neck, seeking the scent that brought him comfort all along; arms circling around and holding himself onto the strong torso. He wants to be nice to the person that sat with him without getting absolutely nothing in return but a load of tears soaking at his clothes. The person who didn’t even complain about once nor left, not even to grab better fitting clothes to be comfortable at work.

“I’ll cook.” Taeyong mumbles across Jaehyun’s collarbone, probably tickling him in the process as he can feel the skin on his neck turn to bumps. With heaviness in his movements, he disentangles from him and maybe Jaehyun sounds a bit desperate as he rushes the words.

“If you feel better, we can cook together.”

“No, I want you to rest and I’ll cook. We’ll eat together.” There are dark circles around his eyes, clinging to his handsome features and Taeyong refuses to let his misery have a toll on Jaehyun. He deserves better. The man in front of Taeyong deserves so much better than what he receives from Taeyong, while Taeyong needs to man up and get things over with. If not for himself, at least for the sake of the people he dragged along in this. “Later I’ll go talk to Johnny.”

“Taeyong, if you’re not ready-“

“I’ll never be ready for it, but better sooner than later.” He’s not sure he can salvage his friendship with Johnny. In his heart, he knows he gave up on wishing for Johnny to love him, never expected it back. It was foolish to let his feelings flourish, to let it develop too much, and to keep Johnny in the dark. Johnny will never trust him again and Taeyong made peace with the thought. If Johnny asks him to drop the group friends, to change his job, to move to another city or country, he will do so because he can understand that Johnny doesn’t want to see his face anymore. “I’ll go alone and I think you should go for a change too.”

Jaehyun remains silent at that, turns towards the living room, and lets Taeyong work his talent over the stove.

Cooking has always been relaxing for him. In this case, however, it didn’t do much. It helped him somewhat sort his thoughts, formulate a message, and send Johnny a text. They will meet somewhere private but on uncommon ground, somewhere that bears absolutely no memories for the two of them because Taeyong needs more than ever to hold his emotions in place, and it’s the only way for him to do so considering he has to face Johnny.

Johnny meets Taeyong as per the conditions. Uncommon ground, fair distance, no Ten. The tension is palpable and it’s obvious enough that Johnny is not in the least happy. In the secluded booth of the location Taeyong chose, across the table, Johnny looks at him with demanding eyes, expecting an explanation.

The discussion is not heated; Johnny asks his questions, Taeyong arguments without a veil, his side of the things. Talking like this, Taeyong understands that this is in fact the person that has been his best friend for many years in a row. That Johnny understands parts of him that probably not even Taeyong can. And contrary to his beliefs Johnny is not hostile, accusatory, he doesn’t condemn Taeyong.

“You should’ve told me Yong, I’m your best friend. Do you think I ever wanted to hurt you, even without my intention? This is us, I know everything about you. You know everything about me, more than my own mother, more than Ten.”

“I was trying to save the friendship.”

“You ignored me days on end, you fled my wedding, fled the party after the wedding, left me in the dark. I thought you don’t want to be near me anymore because you felt left behind. I used to tell Ten that something’s going on, that you’ve changed somehow, something has changed and I am willing to accept that.” Warm eyes fall on him, Johnny’s apologetic when it should be Taeyong that one “I love my husband Yong,” of course he does, that’s why he married him. Taeyong has never doubt Johnny’s love for Ten, never will, “but I love my best friend too. I can’t reciprocate those feelings, I don’t want to ridicule them, tell you they might not be accurate because that’s for me to judge or decide and I know they also won’t vanish over the night. But if you’re willing, I want my best friend to be my best friend. If you can’t.”

There’s a pause, Johnny looks away, and never continues. Never tells Taeyong what happens if Taeyong can’t be his best friend anymore.

Taeyong contemplates, goes through the dangerous territory of the memory lane. They’ve always been together, always found their way back even after fights. Yes, they fought. As best friends they fought when Johnny wanted to get behind the wheel after drinking two beers, Taeyong threw a fit, threw himself on the pavement, and refused to get up. They fought when Taeyong got into pot, Johnny turned his room upside down to look for the supplies and burned them in an abandoned barrel in his mother’s backyard, and threatened Taeyong with their friendship. They fought many times and every time after those fights they found their ways together. He always thought that as long as he loves Johnny, he will always make his way back, that as long as he loves Johnny he’ll always find the strength to fix them together.

“I thought you’re doing drugs with Jae, I’ve lost my mind but Ten assured you’re not.”

That’s when Taeyong starts laughing, straight from his heart. Because he pictures Johnny raking his mind over Taeyong’s strange behavior, imagines Ten trying to calm that wrecking ball Johnny is when his mind wanders too far. He understands the texts from Ten now, he doesn’t resent Taeyong indeed, because he knows Johnny loves him, he knows Taeyong is not a threat to them. He puts the pictures side by side, Johnny and Jaehyun. Johnny who is tall, handsome, awkward, and a derp who knows Taeyong inside out. Johnny who Taeyong loved and cried over when he told him how much he thinks he’s in love with Ten to marry him a year later. His best friend who he grew up with, who he matured next to, but who never managed to figure the very last puzzle piece in Taeyong. 

And then, there’s Jaehyun who is also tall but somehow more handsome, gentle, attentive, kindhearted. Jaehyun who reads Taeyong like an open book, who pushes Taeyong forward and who wants Taeyong to be happy, no, he wants to make Taeyong happy. Jaehyun who took Taeyong’s hand that faithful night but grabbed his heart instead. He loves Johnny but that love is starting to change. He thinks of the way Jaehyun hanged his head low when he left Taeyong’s apartment, he remembers the last words he’s said to him, and panic surges through him. If Jaehyun misunderstood he’s fucked. Utterly and very much fucked.

“John Suh, tell your husband I’m sorry, I was jealous as fuck. My feelings were genuine. Were. I have to go, I forgot something important and it might be kind of decisive.”

“Fuck you Yong, next time you decide to give me the scare of my life at least tell me you’re pregnant or something.”

“I might John, just wait for it.” He rushes out the door, fiddles with his phone stupid to look for an uber as there’s no taxi in sight. The wait eats him alive all throughout the impossible traffic. The one he needs to sort his feelings out with it’s not Johnny was never really just Johnny, but the one who dug feet below the ground to pull Taeyong up, to show him there’s enough space in his heart. To show him he deserves to be loved and he can be loved as long as Taeyong allows himself to feel.

He rushes up the stairs when the elevator takes too long to get down, and maybe it’s not a good idea to fly eight floors on stairs but after being hit by his revelation he thinks he can fly to the moon. When he gets at Jaehyun’s door and he opens up looking confused, searching for any reaction to gauge on Taeyong probably to know how things went and doesn’t find something palpable he just stares at where Taeyong catches his breath right by his door.

“Were you even going to return to my place tonight?”

“Umm, I was a bit confused by what you said. I was going to call you tomorrow and see how it went.” Jaehyun was going to call him tomorrow if he didn’t get lost in his thoughts and realize that Taeyong was not worth it. Something Taeyong can’t afford. They still stand by his door because Jaehyun’s still probably confused as he scratches the back of his head and asks “Are you ok, did you sort things with Johnny?“

“Yeah, yeah, I guess so. We were kind of chatting and he was telling me all this stuff and then he said _‘you know I don’t think your feelings for me will vanish over the night’_ he’s right I love him, these feelings won’t disappear but there’s more to it. These feelings are switching, changing inside of me. All of a sudden I feel like I want to be in your arms and I want you to hold me and kiss me. I want us to fall asleep together and wake up with each other. Is there a way for me to get a chance with you?”

“Wait, what? You’re rambling baby, I don’t think I follow.” Taeyong blinks because he thought he had a moment, he thought he was clear but Jaehyun doesn’t follow despite the half-smile or smirk that adorns his lips. He teases, Taeyong hopes he teases.

“Kiss me!”

“What?”

“Urgh!” Taeyong pulls him by the collar, smashes their lips together, kissing a confused Jaehyun. Slow and long, nibbling at his lower lip imagining how puffy it will look. He didn’t know how much he missed tasting Jaehyun. He bites at his lower lip, cupping his face with a hand and with the other guiding him by the nape while the other male rests his hands at his waist pulling him against him. Taeyong might not be good with his words though by the way Jaehyun holds him, he’s sure he understood and is just teasing Taeyong to get the best out of him. But this is why Taeyong is here, to tell him, to show him he loves him. 

“I love you, Jaehyun!” He whispers against his lips before he disentangles for a moment without putting too much distance between them to look into Jaehyun’s eyes. He’s thinking he wants to look into these eyes every day. Beautiful, glistening, chocolate eyes.

“Say that again.”

“I said, I lo-“

“-ve you too, Taeyong.” He leans down with that always so present smirk, grabbing Taeyong by the back of his thighs and hoisting him up into his lap. They lose balance as they sloppily move between kisses to close the door. He’s eager to reach the bedroom or any surface. His body buzzes, skin tingles, heart hummers hard in his chest. He feels so alive, so alight as he presses harder into Jaehyun’s body where he feels, that same heartbeat but from the other’s chest right against Taeyong’s palm. They don’t reach the bedroom, barely make it to the couch, but this is where he knows his happiness begins.


End file.
